Don't Look Up: The Curse of Comparison

If you're familiar with what Part-Time Medic is, you know that I'm a HUGE proponent of prioritizing your life outside of Medicine. (If you aren't familiar with it, read this first: What Is A Part-Time Medic )

After getting through nearly all my pre-clinical years using this technique, I've realized how many problems it has helped me avoid. But there is yet one problem that I continue to struggle with daily, and that's the constant weight of comparison.

This post is not going to be a magical, motivational speech about how you should live your own life, or how you shouldn't compare yourself; because honestly, despite seeing those in the past, and actively trying to avoid comparison, I still feel this way. This post is going to be me explaining what I have been struggling with, and if you're feeling this way too at least you know that you're not alone in your struggle.

The best way I can explain this situation is through this metaphor:

🏔️ The Metaphor

Imagine a Mountain. This mountain begins at the start of every semester, when you're not exactly sure what's around you, things just feel confusing and complicated. As you ascend the mountain, you start to see the surroundings, you begin to understand some material, and you get a better view of where you are and where you have to go.

The top of this mountain, the place you're aspiring to go, has an endless view in all directions. You're able to see it all and take it all in, and there's nowhere higher to climb, you've made it and you're ready for the end-of-semester exam.

Keep in mind that you're not alone on this mountain. Every other person in your class is similarly climbing, each one in a different place.

😪 The Problem

The struggle I have faced is this:

Imagine that I have worked hard for weeks to make it half-way up this mountain. When I look at the class schedule I can see that I'm on track and I'm starting to understand some material, I'm content with myself, and my track.

Then I overhear some classmates as they talk about how they're nearly done with all their UWorld questions. Wow, haven't been doing those in a while. Suddenly the mountain looks like it got just a little bit taller.

Another student talks about how Amboss has much better questions, and they learned things they never would from lectures. Umm, maybe I should add Amboss to the to-do list too?

Another student mentions how they just got submitted their 4th publication this year. Ugh, I haven't even thought of starting research again.

All of these compound into a mountain that now looks exactly like it did when I started. Not only that, it feels like now you're starting to see where your classmates are, and they're WAY ahead of you.

Although I never really changed where I was on the mountain, what once felt like being halfway up the mountain, content with my understanding had transformed into the bottom of the mountain, lagging behind and fearing failure.

How Do I Combat This?

As much as I avoid trying to compare myself, I sometimes feel like it's futile. What I have instead learned to do, came from a movie I watched that was a actually satire of the global warming crisis:

Although the movie has nothing to do with this post, it's the title that really caught my attention. (the movie is also very good, I recommend it)

Whenever I feel myself going through these bouts of comparison, this is what I tell myself: Don't Look Up.

What I mean is that the feeling of being half-way up the mountain vs. the bottom of the mountain, wasn't a result of how far I've come objectively. It was a result of me looking at the ever fleeting summit. By that logic, if I could just focus on where I'm coming from, I could help curb or at the very least dampen the blow of comparison. Peep my next movie, Just Look Down (coming soon to a theater near you)

💰The Take Away

The reality is that regardless of where we are, we have a vice of only looking up. Only comparing ourselves to those ahead of us, is not only disheartening, but it's a recipe for feeling unachieved, and insignificant.

If you're on this mountain with me, I hope your takeaway is that despite where we are on our climb, none of us feels like we've made it to the top. I have spoken to dozens of students, some of whom I believed were as far up as I could see, and was surprised to hear that they also feel like me.

On the path of Medicine, the comparison is inevitable, but hopefully, we can learn to be content in the climb we have made thus far.

If you've read this far, thank you. I appreciate you. 🤎